Don’t Fear the Army of Cronese Khan!

Ayaz Khan
If you belong to the same category of people belonging to Balochistan who fears Coronavirus outbreak in the province, you need not! For the sake of your amusement! Please keep on biting the cookies with hot tea as you had been taking routinely. Don’t let your teeth rattle; hands shiver, and body shakes with fear. Though Reuter’s news about Corona outbreak in Iran left me sleepless last night—I am sure you might have been in a bad mood too after hearing it—I have amused myself with reading ‘Api Bushambo’s’ tweets with a high level of English used in writing! You too can download Twitter App to enjoy ‘condolence’ tweets in English.
This would be a relaxing therapy to believe that Coronavirus has nothing to do with people of Balochistan or say Pakistan as we have a long history of confronting ‘political’ viruses larger and more dangerous than tiny Coronavirus! We have grown resistant to viruses or, as a matter of fact, become ‘habitual of’ feeding them in our bodies!
Still worried! Stay calm. Sit in the couch. Coronavirus is too small to eat away human beings. In fact, the Chinese swallowed virus without chewing away it properly! It is an act of revenge, indeed. You know ‘badla’. Haven’t you been declaring every Chinese-manufactured products cheap and of substandard quality to use? Why should we now refuse to use such a ‘sophisticated’ ‘animally’-produced product?
And relax. There is a cure for this tiny virus too. Balochistan government has taken a prompt step to tackle the ‘deadly little viruses’. Imagine, 10,0000 newly trained masks along with their thermal guns have been ordered to guard the Iran-Balochistan Border. The spokesperson of the Balochistan government has also shown strong resolve that the masks, armed with thermal snipers, would not compromise their duty leaving ‘no stone unturned’ while protecting us from increasing army of ‘Cronese Khan’!
Apart from fear, honestly saying, it’s human beings’ skills to find amusement even during a life-threatening crisis. It’s the age of biological warfare, you know. And Americans have formed this Virus to teach Chinese a lesson. The Cronese Khan’s army has been raised under delicate care after Donald Trump’s coming in Power. The adamant or say ‘dheet’ virus has taken after Trump! Nothing can defeat both Trump and Cronese Khan as long as they are angry with the enemies. See, Iran is facing trouble after she got ‘panga’ with America. We are the best friends and America would order the army of ‘Cronese Khan’ to stop at Iran-Pakistan Border, I bet!
Chinese, on the other hand, have turned to be timid, buzdil, you know. The Chinese government has called on all Chinese engineers to create new ideas to control the situation by employing robots to serve the patients. Inhumanity, Isn’t it? Where is human being’s sympathy for fellow human beings? Operative drowns have taken place of human beings to do surveillance on Wuhan province with thermal cameras to scan the infected people while drowns. It is, indeed, an interruption in the work of human beings! Making a 1000-beded hospital, on the other hand, is just a ‘flip of fingers’ away from us. At least we have a legacy of Mesopotamian and Egyptian scientific skills! But, you cannot be sure that we would build a 100-beded hospital in 20 years! But yes. The first Pyramid was built in just 20 years, wasn’t it?
Still not convinced! Listen to your fool heart what it says. After seeing the army of 10,0000 masks with ‘sophisticated’ thermal snipers in hand, the Cronese Khan’s Army, comprised of ‘trillion’ of little viruses, will not go back! Surely, it would. However, it will not be the bravery of ‘mask army’ to push them back, but the mercy and pity felt by Cronese Khan’s army towards Balochistan and its masses!
The writer is a fearless soldier of the ‘mask army’!

Note: This article is a work of satire

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